


keep on the journey where i can't see the end (i start to lose who i am)

by thewoundupbird



Category: Mamamoo, Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, F/F, No GP, Omega Verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:53:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25809919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewoundupbird/pseuds/thewoundupbird
Summary: “An alpha mark is illegal.  And more than that… a mark from me would bind us together forever.”Joohyun has her forehead pressed against her temple and they’re so close that Byulyi can’t quite think clearly.  She wants to protest Joohyun’s claim.  Because she has a scar that Joohyun gave her.  It’s just not visible to the naked eye.That thought is what gets her to wake up from the feverish touches and urgency of seeing her … old friend after so many years.  Byulyi gently pulls away from Joohyun and stands, watching with a heavy heart as the other woman simply collapses onto the spot she’d just been in, face partially obscured by the sterile white sheets.  She can just make out the slope of Joohyun’s cheekbone and a single golden eye.“It’s a good thing that you didn’t bind us together.  Because you left.”OR;moonrene abo au
Relationships: Bae Joohyun | Irene/Moon Byulyi | Moonbyul
Comments: 24
Kudos: 95





	keep on the journey where i can't see the end (i start to lose who i am)

_now_

Byulyi adjusts the list of charts in her hand, squinting at the detailed descriptions for the patients dropping by the clinic today. She smiles at Hyejin manning the front. The other woman simply waggles her eyebrows and Byulyi sighs. Mr. Jung must have an appointment about his hip again. For some reason he likes complaining to Byulyi about it even though she hadn’t performed the surgery.

“See you for lunch, Hyejin-ah!”

“I’m picking the food for today, right?”

“Yeah yeah. Just no more chicken feet. I need to be functional for the _whole_ day.”

Byulyi receives a dismissive hand wave and she grins. The front of the small countryside clinic is shabby, all services completely funded by the government to specifically service under-served communities. Especially the alphas that feel more comfortable living in the countryside than being constantly harassed in the cities. Byulyi sighs as she recalls how often the majority of her alpha patients expressed appreciation that the staff at Happy Day Hospital treated them like actual human beings and not unhinged beasts.

Her hand unconsciously reaches for her necklace under her white coat, resting just under the collar of the slate grey sweater she’s wearing.

“Get out of the way!” 

Byulyi straightens sharply at the commotion just outside. She side steps the old upholstered chairs in the front waiting area to peer through the windows. Byulyi catches a blur of an unmarked black van careen to a stop in the small parking lot. She can almost smell the burnt rubber and she frowns in concern.

But when she sees who jumps out of the van her concern turns to distaste.

Two enforcers are leaping out of the vehicle in their military style uniforms. Byulyi takes in their combat boots and matching black uniforms with an array of badges and pins. Squinting, she can see them carefully help a hurt enforcer crawl out from the back seat. Byulyi peers closer and see it’s a woman, long hair hiding her face as she’s practically dragged to the front entrance of the clinic.

“Trouble incoming,” Byulyi mutters as she strides to the front doors. She sees the way Hyejin shifts nervously behind her desk. She’s an alpha after all. 

And enforcers are essentially alpha hunters.

Byulyi opens one of the doors as the three enforces stumble into the clinic, immediately filling the small room with the scent of blood. Her nose twitches but she tries to maintain her calm as she sees over her glasses the way Hyejin is trying hard not to breath.

“Hyejin-ah, go get Wheein and stay in the rec room. Tell her to grab a gurney.”

She barely says the words and Hyejin is bolting out of her seat without a second glance backwards. Byulyi sighs and takes a step away as the enforcers try to rest their hurt colleague in one of the chairs. She tries not to think about how the staff is going to clean the blood off the upholstery.

“How can we help you?” Byulyi asks with a calm professionalism cultivated from years of working as a doctor. One of the enforcers, a tall man with angular features and an impressively large gun strapped to his hip, frowns. All Byulyi needs is a single sniff to discern he’s a beta.

“Enforcer Bae was hurt in a fight apprehending a suspect in an alpha-involved case. She’s suffered bites to her shoulder and a knife wound to her side.”

“I-I’m fine,” comes the weak reply from the woman whose head is still bowed. One of her hands is tightly pressed against her side, blood seeping through pale fingers. Byulyi gets down on one knee and starts to reach for the hurt enforcer when the two enforcers suddenly yank her backwards.

“She’s an alpha.”

“An alpha enforcer? That’s possible?”

The other enforcer, a shorter man with a kind smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes, nods.

“Because she’s hurt there’s a chance she could lash out. Alphas can be unpredictable.”

Byulyi grits her teeth at the bigotry, very aware of how a slip of the tongue could make her be at the mercy of a part of the police that rarely gets reprimanded. One misstep and she could get her medical license revoked. Or worse.

“The majority of my patients are alphas. I haven’t gotten torn to shreds yet.”

“Do you have restraints?”

“Restraints? You want me to restrain her as I treat her?”

The two enforcers stare at Byulyi like the question is an absurd one. And it’s fair. Byulyi has been insulated from anti-alpha rhetoric during her time as the doctor for this alpha majority town. She’s forgotten that most of the world feels alphas belong locked up in chains.

As if on cue, Wheein appears, her light blue nurse uniform catching the early morning light as she rolls a gurney into the waiting room. Byulyi meets the other woman’s nervous gaze with a reassuring smile.

“Nurse Jung, can you go into the storage room and get the restraints?”

“R-restraints?”

“These officers are concerned their fallen colleague could pose a threat as an alpha.”

Wheein’s eyes widen and she quickly jogs off.

“I need to at least check a few vitals. Don’t you have handcuffs you could use on her just to hold her back?”

The taller enforcer sighs like the request is extremely inconvenient for him as he pulls a set of handcuffs looped into his belt. Byulyi swallows at how close she is to the gun on his hip. She can tell by the shape that it’s an automatic. Enforcers are the only branch of the police that can have automatic guns in the entire Korean police force, she recalls with a shiver.

“Enforcer Bae, hold still.”

Byulyi takes a step back and watches wordlessly while one enforcer holds the woman’s shoulders tightly against the back of the chair while the other clips her hands in place. A vicious snarl rips through the room and Byulyi swallows. Suddenly the enforcer raises her head and makes eye contact, lips pulled back in a feral growl with almost glowing golden eyes. 

It’s a face she recognizes instantly.

“Bae Joohyun,” Byulyi chokes out. For a pregnant moment time stops as she just takes in the absurdity of the current situation. Byulyi in a white coat and Joohyun in her enforcer uniform. How ironic that things turned out this way. 

“Dr. Moon?”

And that is when the sharp gold of Joohyun’s eyes fade and a bit of recognition filters into the initially feral reaction. 

“Dr. Moon,” she whispers through bloody teeth. “You’re a doctor now?”

Byulyi chokes at the question as the other two enforcers look curiously between the two of them. 

“Dr. Moon! I have the restraints.”

“T-thanks, Wheein-ah,” she mutters as she gestures for the enforcers to move Joohyun onto the gurney. She leans against an old upholstered couch as she watches the two men guide Joohyun over to the gurney and she awkwardly hops on despite her bound hands. The sight makes Byulyi sick.

“I’ll restrain her at the shoulders and the legs. That should be adequate, right?”

“We’re doing this for your safety. Not ours.” The shorter enforcer merely fingers his own gun at his hip and Byulyi has the sudden urge to grab him by the collar and throttle him. Instead, she just swallows and gives a hard nod as she gestures for Wheein to strap down Joohyun’s legs. She squeezes the stiff leather restraint in her hands as she strides to stand over Joohyun’s left shoulder. Up close, even through the scent blockers and blood, she can smell her. It’s still that hint of twilight pine and clean snow. 

When she meets Joohyun’s golden brown eyes she thinks she can see a flicker of fondness. It makes her hands tremble a little as she bends over to tighten the straps over slim shoulders and an impressive array of pins. She tries not to think about how close her neck is to Joohyun’s mouth, palms clammy at the thought of the last time she’d been so close to the other woman. As an omega, she can resist her more basal cravings easier than Joohyun who whines softly at the proximity, her eyes again taking on the characteristic golden irises of an alpha in the throes of carnal urges. Byulyi sees the sudden sharpness of Joohyun’s teeth and jerks back just in time as the other woman snaps at where Byulyi’s throat had just been.

“Alphas get even more dangerous when they’re hurt. And you’re unfamiliar which makes it worse.”

No I’m not, Byulyi wants to scream at the enforcer. She glances back down at Joohyun who is still staring at her with not a shred of recognition. 

“Wheein-ah, do you have the alpha sedative on you?”

“Yes, Dr. Moon.”

“I think you should administer it now. I need to be able to work on the patient uninterrupted.”

It’s like the thought of being sedated soothes Joohyun and she seems to relax, her breathing less heavy. Byulyi watches out of the corner of her eye as Wheein rolls up Joohyun’s sleeve and tries to find a vein despite the awkwardness of the woman being restrained by handcuffs. 

She tears her gaze back to Joohyun who is watching her again, a barely there smile pulling at her mouth.

“Long time… no see.”

“Yeah. This wasn’t exactly how I envisioned this happening.”

Joohyun chuckles and Byulyi is taken back to a time when that laughter had been directly in her ear as their clumsy hands danced sloppily over piano keys. A memory edged in warm sepia and bathed in the lazy light of sunset.

“Done, Dr. Moon.”

Byulyi nods, not tearing her gaze away from Joohyun whose eyes are beginning to droop. Against her better judgment, she brings a hand to cup the other woman’s cheek and it feels like electricity between them as Joohyun stares at her with a stormy cocktail of emotions just bubbling behind a fragile veneer of calm.

“I’m going to take care of you, Bae Joohyun,” she murmurs as she watches Joohyun lean heavily against her hand with fluttering eyelids. 

“Okay. She’s out. Let’s move.”

Byulyi steps to the head of the gurney and she pushes hard with Wheein at her side and the two enforcers trailing behind them. 

* * *

_before_

Byulyi nearly goes cross-eyed trying to balance a pencil on the edge of her nose, leaning back to ensure that no wobbles will lead to the object clattering to the floor.

“Byulyi, would you stop being a dumbass and let me copy your notes?” whines Junghwan from his seat next to her.

“You should have finished it last night instead of playing video games. I asked you to go to the library after cram school but you said no.”

“I didn’t want to have to get caught up in an enforcer patrol. They always walk around our school because it’s integrated.”

Byulyi harrumphs as her pencil finally tips off her nose and she catches it in mid-air. 

“The enforcers aren’t that scary.”

“They’re the only branch of the police force that can freely carry guns in Korea. How is that not terrifying?”

“They only are supposed to use them on alphas that go berserk. You saw the news the other day, right?”

She tips her head back and meets Junghwan’s sullen gaze. Of course he has. The whole country had watched breathlessly as the blurry images circulated all across South Korea. Even though the schools had just started being integrated two years ago to lessen the bias amongst alphas, betas, and omegas, last week’s news made it a very hard sell. Byulyi remembers seeing how even the grainy pixels of the video had to be blurred as the alpha, clearly not on his scent blocker medication, had torn out the throat of an omega high school girl in broad daylight. It’d gone viral in hours and trended globally by the end of the day.

So much for South Korea being the leader in cutting edge scent-blocking pharmaceutical research.

“I heard that Parliament might pass a law that alphas have to start filing their teeth down now,” Junghwan murmurs as he pillows his head on his arms. 

“Don’t they already? I heard naturally they’re even sharper than betas’ teeth.” Byulyi gives Junghwan a one-handed finger gun and he automatically curls his upper lip to show off the undeniable pointed edge. But that’s just his canines.

“Are they really all sharp? Like actual wolves?”

“Apparently,” Byulyi mutters as she wiggles her pencil in her hand, watching as the rest of her classmates filter in for the first period of school. She wiggles her eyebrows at her friend Heeyeon with a smile as the other girl takes her seat near the front of the classroom.

“Heeyeon-ah, will you check math answers with me?” she half-shouts across the room.

“After! We’re getting a transfer student and I have to help Ms. Park settle her in.”

“Wait, really?” Byulyi tilts her head curiously, startling when their teacher walks in. She adjusts something at her desk before the class stands to bow and greet her for the morning. Byulyi zones out as she half listens to her teacher do a few cursory announcements. Outside the classroom, she catches sight of dark black hair in the edge of the window. If she wasn’t on scent-blockers she probably could smell her but it’s mandatory for everyone to be on the medication to suppress as much of their differences as possible.

But, Byulyi can catch the faintest hint of something musky, like pine. It makes her heart race a little in her ears. The scent is untamed in a way that is clearly forbidden as the reintegration tapes had stated. _Wild and free—not for me!_

“-Bae Joohyun.”

Byulyi blinks owlishly, tuning back in just in time for the prettiest girl she’s ever seen to slide the classroom door open and enter quietly. She knows that every one of her classmates is straining forward, curious to try to tell what exactly she is. Is she an omega? A beta? An _alpha_?

But of course the scent-blockers keep that a secret. A gift for reintegration.

“Why don’t you introduce yourself, Joohyun-ah?” Ms. Park says with a smile, a hand gesturing to the eager students.

“… My name is Bae Joohyun. I’m a transfer student from Daegu. I’m… please take care of me.” She bows quickly and the rest of the class begins a frenzy of curious questions despite the clear shyness tightening her face.

“What high school did you come from in Daegu? Angel High?”

“Are you an omega? You’re so cute!”

“What’s your favorite food?”

Byulyi rolls her eyes and by chance her and the transfer student make eye contact. She blinks slowly, nose twitching as she tries to put a finger on the faint scent. It’s almost like Joohyun knows she’s trying to smell her because she flushes and silently sits in the empty seat behind Heeyeon, silencing the questions.

Ms. Park seems a little flustered as she stares at Joohyun for a long moment before awkwardly shifting on her feet.

“W-well everyone, please be nice to Joohyun, okay? It’s hard transferring in the middle of the second year of high school so answer all her questions.”

Byulyi almost snorts because it’d be the other way around. Joohyun would be lucky if she got through today with her identity not being revealed.

It only gets worse during the first break after third period.

Byulyi usually leaves her classroom during break to bother Yongsun but she sticks around to watch everyone flock around the new girl. She almost feels a little bad at the way they swarm her, bombarding her with questions like they can’t tell she is getting extremely uncomfortable under the weight of them all. Even Heeyeon looks slightly terse despite her usual big smile.

She sighs as she stands and ambles over to the fray.

“-my cousin says that’s the best chicken place in Daegu! That’s so cool your parents own that restaurant.”

Joohyun weakly smiles at the comment, ducking her head a little and letting her dark hair fall more in front of her face. It’s a curtain, Byulyi thinks with a sad smile.

“Hey, everyone, class representative Moon Byulyi needs to talk to the transfer student. So I’m going to steal her for a second.”

“Aw come on, Byul, can’t we have a little fun?”

“After I help her out. Hey, Vice President Ahn, you probably need to go to the bathroom before class starts right? I’ll take care of the transfer kid.”

“Oh could you, Byul-ah? Thanks, I’ll be right back!”

Joohyun raises her head, exchanging a smile with Heeyeon as the taller girl practically leaps from her seat and sprints for the bathroom.

“Want to get out of here?” Byulyi steps in front of the crowd of curious students. She blocks them from Joohyun’s line of sight with her back, bracing her hands on the corner of the girl’s desk and chair. Byulyi flushes at how close they are with Joohyun’s thigh almost brushing her knee.

“Where to?”

Byulyi just smirks and grabs Joohyun’s wrist, running off with a barking laugh to the dismay of her classmates. She doesn’t realize the transfer student is laughing too until they’ve climbed a few flights of stairs to the empty music classroom. Byulyi drops Joohyun’s wrist as she stumbled into a chair, flipping her long bangs out of her eyes.

“Thanks.”

Byulyi looks up at Joohyun who is still uncertainly standing near the door, one hand clenching onto her wrist. She seems uneasy as she glances around the empty classroom. It’s like she’s worried a chair is going to jump up and bite her or something.

“They’re all really nice. We all basically went to the same middle school together so getting a transfer student is really fun for us. But I can get how all those strangers up close might be scary.”

Joohyun tucks some of her hair behind her ear with a nod. Noticing how stiff the other girl’s shoulders are makes Byulyi feel a little guilty. She seems just as nervous as when they were downstairs. With a determined glance around the classroom, she ambles toward the only piano in the corner and gestures for Joohyun to join her.

“Can you play?”

“A little.”

“How about this?”

Byulyi tinkers around, pulling a playful rendition of chopsticks from the old keys. Joohyun bites back a smile as she taps along, the two of them making a sloppy stream of music.

When they stop, Joohyun turns to look at her and Byulyi swears her eyes are almost golden in the lighting. But it must have just been her imagination. After all, it’s a lot having such a pretty girl staring at her.

“What perfume do you use?” she asks quickly, making a show of randomly pressing a series of lazy chords against the keys.

“Perfume?”

“Yeah. Everyone wears it since the scent blockers sort of make you smell… sterile. Like a hospital room.”

“I don’t wear perfume,” Joohyun mumbles as her eyes fell back to the keyboard, her profile solemn as she produces a sad string of notes from the piano.

“Oh sorry, you just smell-” Byulyi’s eyes widens at the way Joohyun’s jaw clenches so hard she can see the muscle twitch “-nice.”

“Nice?”

“Yeah. Like have you ever gone hiking when there’s snow on the ground? It makes the trees smell so clean and fresh. Especially the hour or two before it gets dark. I think… I think you smell like that.”

Joohyun looks at Byulyi oddly before staring back down at her hands on the piano, small fingers almost engulfed by the sleeve of her uniform blazer. Even though Byulyi is an omega, there is something about the other girl that makes her want to protect the gentleness that seems to ooze out of the careful way she touches everything. If she touched me, would she act like I was made of glass, too? Byulyi wonders.

“You shouldn’t be able to smell me with the scent-blockers,” Joohyun mutters tersely, fingers tracing the piano keys but no longer playing. “Are you an alpha? Your sense of smell is really strong.”

“No. I’m not actually. I was just born with a good nose.” Byulyi gives Joohyun a half-smile which the girl almost returns.

“You smell nice, too.”

“You can smell me?”

“Well, you’re standing right here,” Joohyun flushes, her cheeks undeniably pinkish at the way Byulyi leans forward curiously. 

“What do I smell like?”

Joohyun stills, letting Byulyi be nearly a breath away as she lets her gaze slide from her bangs to the slope of her jaw.

“Sweet. Like candy.”

“Well don’t eat me. I’ve read Little Red Riding Hood and I know how that story goes.”

“Do I look like the Big Bad Wolf?”

Byulyi lifts her head to laugh at the absurd question Joohyun is posing. This tiny person that looks more like a doll than a girl is asking if she’s some monster from a story?

But then when Joohyun just stares back at Byulyi with not a hint of bluster, she finds she can’t quite say no. 

* * *

_now_

Byulyi wipes at her forehead with the back of her arm before looking down at Joohyun who’s still peacefully asleep. The knife wound had luckily been shallow and missed her liver. Unfortunately, both the knife cut and the shoulder bite had required stitches which had been extremely difficult with Joohyun restrained and unconscious.

The two enforcers are sitting in chairs underneath the window in the empty patient room. Byulyi is grateful that Joohyun is the only one in the six beds. She cannot imagine how having three enforcers in the same room would affect patients’ stress levels.

“We need to make a phone call. Will you be alright with Enforcer Bae while we’re gone?”

Byulyi just nods and the two men rise, not even sparing Joohyun a glance as they file out of the room. She heavily sits at the stool by Joohyun’s bed side, eyes tracing the woman’s delicate profile. Swallowing, she reaches forward and ghosts a fingertip along the curve of Joohyun’s forehead, down her practically perfect nose bridge, and against the bow of pursed pink lips. 

She pulls away and looks down at Joohyun’s hands, finally free of the handcuffs. They seem the same, delicate and fragile. Byulyi wonders if she touched them would they still be freezing.

“See something interesting?”

Byulyi startles a little, meeting Joohyun’s sharp gaze. She swallows as she rises to stand, smoothing her white coat. 

“You really got in quite the fight, Enforcer Bae. Two bites to the shoulder and a knife wound to the ribs.”

“You cut your hair.”

Byulyi stills just as she’s picking up her clipboard. She glances over at Joohyun whose eyes are flicking all over Byulyi’s face, probably tracking all the changes that have happened in ten years.

“It got in the way of my work.”

“I like it. It suits you.”

“You look the same.”

Joohyun’s half smile is almost wistful.

“Not in all ways. I’m sure when you were stitching me up you saw my scars.”

Byulyi clenches her jaw as she feels her grip on her clipboard automatically tighten.

“Yes.”

“Did it scare you?”

“The scars?”

Joohyun shrugs and turns her head to stare at the window.

“Your hospital doesn’t have bars over the windows,” she observes quietly.

“The majority of the staff and patients are alphas. We don’t need to make people feel unnecessarily uncomfortable.”

“When I was little they used to handcuff us to the beds. In case we became feral and bit a nurse."

Byulyi grinds her teeth as she tries not to think of Joohyun as a child, strapped to a bed and pretending to not be afraid of whatever procedure would befall her.

“They mainly did it to us when they ground down our teeth. At least that was the only time I experienced the handcuffing.”

“But you don’t grind down your teeth anymore.”

“Why would I? The enforcers like showing off their attack wolf front in center. It’s why I don’t take scent blockers either.”

Byulyi swallows, grateful that the windows are open and the sterile smell of the hospital overpowers the potential disaster of an alpha and omega trapped in a room together.

“Lucky you.”

“You must have to take them though. Because of your patients.”

Byulyi says nothing as she starts to go over Joohyun’s charts, scribbling notes. She feels Joohyun’s stare on her, heavy like a caress. When she glances up she catches golden eyes.

“Dr. Moon.”

“Enforcer Bae.”

They both share a bittersweet smile.

“I don’t know many omega doctors that settle for a dinky clinic in the middle of the North Jeolla province.”

“I did my residency here. Didn’t want to go anywhere else.”

“I see.”

“And you became an enforcer. I guess they don’t have a height cutoff.”

Joohyun pouts, wincing as she tries to sit up against her restraints.

“Here, do you want me to loosen those?” Byulyi crosses back to Joohyun’s side and squats below the hospital bed to start to unfasten the ties.

“You trust that I won’t ravage you?”

Byulyi blushes at the bluntness of Joohyun’s words but continues to stubbornly work at the knots.

“You always had impeccable restraint.”

“Not always.”

They share a heavy look before Byulyi goes back to finish undoing the last of the fastenings. She takes a step back, arms full of stiff bindings, and watches Joohyun try to rub her shoulder.

“Thanks.”

“Of course. Well, I better get back to my patients. We have another recovery room so I’ll try to keep people out of here.”

“I’ll need a change of clothes. I can imagine that my enforcer uniform is ruined.”

Byulyi takes in Joohyun in her pale blue gown, vastly preferring it to the dark black uniform that she connects with so much injustice.

“Nothing a good dry clean can’t fix.”

Joohyun’s mouth twitches but she says nothing, just staring at her again. It makes Byulyi’s skin prickle. A part of her wants to grab the other woman and yell at her. _Why did you leave me without a word?_

But the more rational adult part of her brain makes her calmly hug her clipboard to her chest and return the stare.

“Do you need something before I leave, Enforcer Bae?”

“Byulyi-ah.”

The name makes Byulyi turn on her heel, not sparing Joohyun a second glance as she rushes out the door.

* * *

_before_

“I need to tell you something.” 

Byulyi stiffens next to Joohyun at the piano, glancing over at the other girl who is staring straight ahead with hands on the keys. It’s been three months since Joohyun’s started school and they spend nearly every day together in the time between school and cram school in the old music room. 

“Is it that you’re finally going to buy me _ddeokbokie_ like you promised?”

“I never promised you that!” Joohyun mutters as she turns to petulantly growl at Byulyi. She just smiles in response, slightly relieved that the other girl’s shoulders aren’t as painfully tense.

“I’ll let you off the hook just this once, Bae Joohyun.”

She starts to resume her tinkering on the piano when Joohyun’s hand wraps around Byulyi’s wrist.

“Byulyi-ah,” she whispers, eyes wide and determined.

“Hm?”

“I’m an alpha.”

“Oh.” Byulyi turns to look curiously at Joohyun. The revelation should make her feel something. She scans Joohyun’s face looking for a sudden change after the reveal. Shouldn’t she seem more menacing and dangerous? 

But strangely, all she can think about is Joohyun giggling into her shoulder as the shadows of their fingers stretch across the piano keys in the falling light of sunset.

Joohyun swallows under her scrutiny and then adjust her grip on Byulyi’s hand bringing it closer to her lips. Not losing eye contact, she opens her mouth, revealing teeth that all have a slight point. When Byulyi’s index finger just grazes one incisor, she shivers. 

“I’m due for an appointment soon. To shave them down. All alphas have to.”

“Does it hurt?” 

Joohyun’s eyes become dark at the question and her gaze slides past Byulyi and out the window.

“It’s so that other people aren’t scared. It doesn’t matter if it hurts.”

Byulyi scoffs at the words. It sounds like Joohyun is reciting from the reeducation tapes. Thoughtlessly, she moves her hand to rest on the curve of Joohyun’s jaw to try and bring her gaze back to her. 

“You don’t care?” Joohyun whispers. Byulyi frowns at how the other girl still isn’t looking at her. She slightly moves Joohyun’s face and blazing golden eyes are boring into her. She startles, leaning closer to confirm that they aren’t a trick of the light.

“Is that their real color?” Byulyi asks curiously, hand still touching Joohyun. The other girl leans into the contact but her eyes stay right on Byulyi. 

She gets a terse nod in reply and Byulyi smiles.

“It’s pretty. Do all alphas have the same color?”

“Yes. We can normally control it but when we get emotional or angry it tends to shine through.”

“Were you angry just now?”

“No! No, just a little… overwhelmed.”

Byulyi nods at the confession and runs a thumb along the lower curve of Joohyun’s cheek, just brushing the other girl’s bottom lip. As if on instinct, her mouth opens just slightly and sharp teeth barely poke out. Byulyi swallows at the sight and a dark part of her brain wonders if Joohyun could tear her throat out.

Joohyun seems to see her mind wandering because she presses her lips together in a firm line, hiding her teeth from view. Her shoulders are taut again as she tries to pull away from Byulyi’s grip. It is then that Byulyi makes a decision.

“It’s okay that you’re an alpha.”

Those golden eyes are on her again but this time they’re a conflicted mix of hopeful and resigned.

“But you’re afraid.”

“What?”

“I-I can smell it on you.”

Byulyi frowns.

“I’m a little afraid. I’ve never met an alpha before. And the only ones I’ve seen on tv are… well-”

“Murderers?”

Byulyi smiles apologetically and Joohyun sighs, letting herself rest against Byulyi’s hand again. She tentatively reaches forward and clasps Byulyi’s other free hand. There is something so fragile in the way Joohyun’s fingers brush the back of Byulyi’s hand before taking it into her own, as if waiting for the inevitable rejection. But that doesn’t happen as Byulyi easily twines their fingers together.

It’s worth it to see the ghost of a smile on Joohyun’s mouth, dimming her golden eyes back to golden brown.

“I promise I won’t tell anyone about this. And I won’t treat you any different. You’re still Bae Joohyun to me.”

When Joohyun gives Byulyi’s hand a hard squeeze in response, she can’t hide her triumphant grin.

* * *

_now_

“Dr. Moon?”

Byulyi jerks up in surprise, woken up suddenly from her nap at her desk.

“Hyejin-ah? What time is it?”

“18:30. Patients are done for the day but the enforcer is requesting leave.”

“What?” Byulyi jumps from the desk with a yelp and snatches her white coat from the back of her chair. “She can’t leave! She needs to at least stay overnight.”

“I know and that’s what I told her. But she’s pretty persistent.”

Byulyi rolls her eyes as she storms out of her office while simultaneously getting her arms through her coat. The clinic is tiny so in a few strides she is in the main hallway and pushing the Patient recovery room #1 door open with her hip.

“Enforcer Bae, you can’t just leave the clinic without my permission.”

Byulyi stumbles a little when she sees the two enforcers are back, frowning at Byulyi’s harried entrance.

“You shouldn’t have undone the restraints, Dr. Moon. An alpha in a hurt state can still be dangerous.”

“As a doctor with a lot of experience with hurt alphas, I made a judgement call, Enforcer.”

“Enforcer Bae isn’t quite your normal alpha.”

“Enough, Jongin.” The enforcer quiets at Joohyun’s reprimand and Byulyi glances at the other woman. She’s in a pair of loose gray sweats rolled at the ankle and an over-sized black t-shirt that reaches mid-thigh. It makes Joohyun look even smaller than she usually does. The sight makes the corner of Byulyi’s mouth unwillingly curl upward.

“Regardless of your opinions on restraints, you can’t just leave. The patient needs to stay at least overnight. I refuse to accept less.”

“Enforcer Bae is needed to continue the search for the suspect. I assure you she will not be moving or attacking until she is completely recovered.”

“I don’t think you’re understanding me.”

Byulyi straightens her back and hides her hands balled into angry fists in the front pockets of her white coat.

“The suspect we are looking for is dangerous, Dr. Moon. Enforcer Bae’s skills are critical to tracking and obtaining the suspect before he causes even more harm to others.”

“What I’m saying isn’t negotiable.”

The enforcer takes a step closer and Byulyi’s jaw clenches at the overpowering scent coming from him and the other male enforcer. Without scent blockers they can use their pheromones to their advantage, manipulating Byulyi into feeling intimidated and subservient. But she simply stands her ground, fighting her instinct to cower. When she bares her teeth a little, staring unflinchingly at the taller enforcer, the swell of pheromones cease.

“It seems it would be best if I stay here,” Joohyun mutters quietly, sitting heavily on the hospital bed.

“We could get the local police involved.”

“I’m not backing down, Enforcer,” Byulyi stubbornly reiterates, crossing her arms over her chest. She catches Joohyun covering her mouth with a hand, clearly concealing a smile. 

“We shouldn’t be aggravating the community members, Jongin.” The enforcer turns and shares a hard look with Joohyun before sighing.

“One night. But we are picking her up as soon as the clinic opens at 9AM. Sharp.”

“You have my word.”

“Then we’ll see you tomorrow, Enforcer Bae.”

“Jongin. Kyungsoo.”

They both incline their heads and march out of the room, casting matching glares at Byulyi as they pass her by. As soon as they’re gone she heavily sits on the stool by Joohyun’s hospital bed.

“I’m sorry they tried to bully you into listening to them. Without the scent blockers instinct sometimes gets the best of them.”

Byulyi says nothing, just looks at Joohyun who’s sitting on the edge of her hospital with her legs hanging above the floor. She scoots closer and reaches for Joohyun’s shirt, making the woman stiffen at the sudden closeness. Byulyi sees a flash of golden eyes.

“I want to check on how the stitches are healing. I know alphas can heal quickly but you moving around might have made things worse.”

“Fine.” Joohyun relaxes and leans back onto her hands as Byulyi hovers over her. Her movements are professional as she pulls up the hem of Joohyun’s shirt to look over the neat stitching on her side. She tries to ignore the other scars dancing along the woman’s ribcage and stomach. 

“Does this hurt?” she asks in a measured voice as she lightly traces a fingertip just under the healing wound. Joohyun shakes her head minutely and Byulyi nods. This close Joohyun’s scent is overwhelming, a heady mix of pine and clean snow that makes her movements a bit uncoordinated as she jerkily drops the shirt. She starts to stand but a cool hand holds her in place by the wrist. 

“I forgot what you looked like at sunset.”

Byulyi swallows hard and glances outside, seeing the bright splashes of orange and red painting the sky. She takes in Joohyun, leaning back on a hand with her golden eyes heavy with something unspeakable. An ache fills her chest as the smell wreathing around her blends with the intoxicating sight of Joohyun before her after nearly ten years of separation. It’s partly instinctual and partly desire that makes her lean closer until her nose grazes the underside of Joohyun’s jaw. A hand tightly squeezes at Byulyi’s hip and she hears a strangled whine.

“I missed you,” she chokes out through her teeth, unable to look Joohyun in the eye. Instead she breathes in deeply and feels Joohyun do the same. Joohyun shifts forward and tugs until Byulyi is sitting on the bed next to her, wrapped up in a tight hug. It reminds Byulyi of the end of their first and last year of high school together, wrapped up in each other during the winter months. Warming each other sometimes with hands and hugs. Other times with kisses and touches in the shadows of the old music room.

“Byulyi-ah,” Joohyun whispers softly. She pulls away from the embrace and reaches a hand up to finger the chain around Byulyi’s neck. Byulyi doesn’t stop her from pulling the necklace out from under her sweater. It’s a simple silver ring with no markings. But the look Joohyun gives her is indescribable as she runs a finger along the object’s smooth surface like it’s the most precious thing in the world.

“You still wear it?”

“Of course.”

“Why?”

Byulyi drops her chin to take in Joohyun’s thumb running over the ring in a steady circle. It’s the pheromones and the nostalgia of meeting an old friend, Byulyi justifies to herself as she brings Joohyun’s hand to her mouth. She presses a soft kiss against the inside of her wrist, feeling to her surprise a scar still present after all those years.

“I didn’t want it to heal properly,” Joohyun murmurs as if reading her mind. “I wanted to have a mark of you on me forever.”

Byulyi recalls in the reeducation classes how alphas had engaged in the barbaric practice of marking their omega mates as a means of staking their claim. In the pictures that had flickered on the projectors there were men and women with bite marks on their necks, their arms, their chests. One woman even had a claw mark from just outside the corner of her eye to the curve of her jaw.

Is it the territorial nature of the alpha? the teacher had asked the class at the time. Is it his brute need to mark and claim all that are beneath him?

“You always let me mark you. Not the other way around.”

“An alpha mark is illegal. And more than that… a mark from me would bind us together forever.”

Joohyun has her forehead pressed against her temple and they’re so close that Byulyi can’t quite think clearly. She wants to protest Joohyun’s claim. Because she has a scar that Joohyun gave her. It’s just not visible to the naked eye.

That thought is what gets her to wake up from the feverish touches and urgency of seeing her … old friend after so many years. Byulyi gently pulls away from Joohyun and stands, watching with a heavy heart as the other woman simply collapses onto the spot she’d just been in, face partially obscured by the sterile white sheets. She can just make out the slope of Joohyun’s cheekbone and a single golden eye.

“It’s a good thing that you didn’t bind us together. Because you left.”

Joohyun says nothing, curled up on that bed and staring right at Byulyi. It’s a fantasy having Bae Joohyun lying on a bed before her with her long dark hair fanned behind her in thick tendrils. She’s almost tempted to reach a hand forward and stroke the soft strands like she had in high school. 

But they aren’t in high school anymore.

Byulyi is a doctor trying to help alphas. And Joohyun is an enforcer trying to imprison them.

“I’ll order some dinner. You still like _yukgaejang_ right?”

Joohyun simply nods against the sheet, eyes not leaving Byulyi. There is something even more painful about looking at Joohyun when she can smell the desire in the air and feel the phantom scar of rejection in her chest.

“If you need anything I’ll be doing work in my office,” Byulyi says simply. When she gets no response she turns on her heel and leaves through the double doors.

* * *

_before_

“Unnie,” Byulyi whines as Joohyun presses another sharp kiss against her collarbone. The other girl just giggles against Byulyi’s throat and gets bolder, a small tongue swiping a broad stroke along the dip between her collar bones.

“Did you like that?” Joohyun teases against her ear before tugging at her ear lobe with sharp teeth. The sound that sensation pulls from her throat makes Joohyun laugh again, before sitting back on her ankles and giving her some space.

They’re supposed to be studying together at Byulyi’s house but all it had taken was Joohyun playing with her matching couple ring necklace as she glared at a math problem for Byulyi to crawl to the other side of the table on the floor.

Byulyi’s chest heaves as she stares at the way Joohyun undoes her hair from her pony tail, smiling at the attention she’s receiving.

“Do you like me, Moon Byulyi?”

“What kind of question is that after what we just did?”

Joohyun licks her lips and the sight makes Byulyi almost unbearably hot. She leans back against the side of her bed as she watches Joohyun tidy herself up, idly contemplating doing the same. But her limbs feel heavy and there is some primordial part of herself that relishes the thought of Joohyun doing it for her. Is this what the reeducation classes had talked about, the loss of a beta or omega’s sense of self at the hands of an alpha's manipulative pheromones?

But it feels good to have Joohyun lick her fingers clean and button her blouse with practiced fingers. Byulyi’s eyelids feel heavy as Joohyun holds her from behind, nuzzling against the back of Byulyi’s head.

“Maybe the reeducation classes are wrong.”

Joohyun stiffens in her ministrations for a moment. Byulyi can imagine a frown pulling at the corner of her mouth. But then she continues taking care of her, a hand caressing Byulyi’s hip with gentle pets.

“Oh?”

“They say that it’s demeaning for alphas and omegas to mate. Because it plays on instinctual urges that we can’t control.”

“Mm.”

“But instinct must mean something right? Why would we be born with something that we aren’t supposed to listen to at all?”

Joohyun shifts behind Byulyi and raises her arm. They both see the healing bite mark that she usually conceals with her over-sized uniform blazer.

“The reeducation classes talk about how alphas mark their mates. But did you know the mates marked their alphas too? Only other alphas can usually leave a mark so the mark from a non-alpha has to be extremely deliberate. It makes the mark even more special to us.”

“D-does that mean that we’re mate-”

“No, no. It has to go both ways. I’d have to mark you, too. And traditionally it happens during a rut and heat cycle.”

“Would you want to… someday?”

Byulyi glances over her shoulder and sees Joohyun’s golden eyes staring right back at her.

“Someday.”

They both smile at the sweet lie. Byulyi leans back against Joohyun and starts to drift off as she feels the other girl’s hands play with her hair.

“After high school, what do you want to do?”

“Will you try to follow me, Moon Byulyi?”

“I’m not that needy.”

Joohyun scoffs at the newest lie but continues stroking Byulyi’s hair.

“I… it’s hard to go to college as an alpha. You have to give your identity code and they have quotas.”

“What if you didn’t have to think about that stuff at all?”

“Hmm. Maybe a teacher? I have a younger sister and I babysat my cousins growing up. I liked taking care of them.”

“I bet all of your students would have a crush on you.”

Byulyi giggles as Joohyun playfully bites at the back of her neck, a teasing growl edging from her throat.

“Would you scare away all my potential five year old suitors?”

“That’ll be what I get my degree in.”

“Hmmm?”

“Being Bae Joohyun’s personal bodyguard.”

Joohyun scoffs but says nothing as Byulyi grabs her wrist and presses a kiss against the inside of her wrist. Her lips tickle the scar and she smiles at the unrestrained whine that rips from Joohyun. When it’s just the two of them Joohyun talks more, letting her sharp teeth show as she slowly lets herself become more and more uninhibited in front of Byulyi. Each day is a gift, revealing more and more of Bae Joohyun.

Byulyi hopes with the naivete of a teenager that she gets to know a new daily thing about Joohyun for the rest of her life.

* * *

_now_

The sound of glass breaking startles Byulyi from her data entry at her desktop. She adjusts the glasses on her nose as she stills, listening for anymore noises. Glancing at the clock, she realizes it’s 21:10, way after closing. Maybe it’s just her imagination?

And then an unmistakable snarl tears through the hospital, bringing a chill down Byulyi’s spine. She grabs for the baseball bat she keeps next to her coat rack and hurriedly rushes out into the hall. Because she’d been the only one left in the hospital with Joohyun, she’d told Hyejin to have the power on at a minimum, leaving all the hallways lights at a quarter capacity. There is something undeniably eerie about the only source of light coming from flickering fluorescent bulbs with darkness creeping at its edges.

Byulyi grips her bat and listens for a few more sounds. Suddenly two figures burst from Patient Recovery Room #1, filling the hallway with the sharp scents of blood and warring pheromones. Byulyi wrinkles her nose at the overwhelming smell and takes a step back.

On the floor is a man with his dark hair shaggy from clear neglect and grubby clothes that haven’t been washed in weeks. On top of him is Joohyun, a purpling bruise blossoming on her cheek. Her teeth are bared and bloody with golden eyes that make Byulyi feel for the first time in a long time afraid. 

“Stop struggling,” Joohyun barks down at the man who is resisting, scrabbling at the hold on his shoulders. He snarls again and Joohyun punches him in the face.

“Did you really think that getting rid of me would make the case against you disappear? You assaulted an omega! There are consequences for your actions!”

“No I didn't! I love her! We love each other! Why can’t you people just leave us alone?”

Joohyun’s lips curl back into a snarl and Byulyi watches numbly as the other woman laughs hollowly at the words.

“That’s disgusting. You know alphas and omegas are forbidden from ever becoming mates. There is too much history of manipulation and coercion to prove that love between an omega and an alpha can never truly exist.”

The man is crying now, weakly trying to push against Joohyun’s claw like grip.

“She’s pregnant. Please, if they send me to a reeducation camp I’ll never see her or the baby again.”

“If you knew the consequences then you shouldn’t have done the crime.”

“Is love a crime? Haven’t you ever been in love?”

At the question, Joohyun pauses and Byulyi lets out a choked gasp. It is in that moment that she lifts her head and they truly see each other. There is a flash of surprise in Joohyun’s eyes but it is quickly suppressed as she readjusts her grip on the struggling man, deftly flipping him onto his back. Byulyi can see that that he’s bleeding from his shoulder, explaining Joohyun’s bloody mouth.

“Dr. Moon, call the local police. They’ll tip off my colleagues and we can get Mr. Kim into custody.”

The man in question is sobbing pathetically against the floor, no longer thrashing.

“You’re one of us! How can you just destroy the little that we have left? Everyone just wants all the alphas in the camps so they can lock us away forever.”

Byulyi swallows, familiar with the alpha’s painful reality. Her patients had expressed similar sentiments when they realized that Byulyi was extremely sympathetic to their plight. It is with that compassion that she strides to the whimpering man’s side.

Joohyun looks up at Byulyi and frowns.

“What are you doing?”

“You call the police. I need to treat Mr. Kim for injuries. The bite mark you gave him could get infected.”

“It’s not safe. A hurt alpha is dangerous.”

“Couldn’t the same be said for you, Enforcer Bae?” Byulyi asks with some bite. She watches Joohyun stare at her with hurt golden eyes. Byulyi tries to find some hint of the Joohyun she’d loved in high school in the woman before her, sitting on the back of a sobbing man begging for mercy with a sharp bloody mouth. 

She can’t find her as Joohyun sighs and pulls a zip tie from her pocket. Byulyi watches wordlessly as she restrains Mr. Kim’s hands before rolling off to heavily lean against the hallway wall. The fluorescent lights make her golden eyes dance as Byulyi approaches the hurt alpha on the floor.

“Can you stand?” she asks kindly. The man whimpers out a yes and tries to roll to his side so Byulyi can help yank him to his feet. She gently places a hand on his arm to guide him towards her office. But first she grabs her phone from her pocket and tosses it into Joohyun’s lap. The woman glances up at her in confusion.

“You shouldn’t be moving right now. Call the police from here.”

Byulyi tries to ignore the way Joohyun’s eyes unmistakably shine with tears as she turns away and guides her newest patient towards her office.

\- - -

Byulyi washes her hands in the sink, blearily looking at the dark circles under her eyes. The remnants of scarlet blood swirl in the sink, leaving her hands an abnormal pinkish color.

“We apprehended Mr. Kim. The police will come by shortly to get your statement regarding insurance for the damages to your patient room.”

Byulyi glances up and sees Joohyun’s face through the mirror, shoulder holding open the door to the restroom. She looks far less dangerous than when she’d last seen her. Her mouth is scrubbed free of blood and her eyes are no longer golden. And yet Byulyi can’t quite hide her shudder.

“I’ll talk to them before I head home.”

“Thank you.”

Byulyi nods and drops her eyes back to her hands in the sink. With a sigh she turns to grab some paper towels and Joohyun is there, entirely too close.

“You’re afraid of me again,” she says simply like she’s discussing the weather.

“Should I not be?”

“No. You should be.”

Byulyi frowns at the statement because it’s the right thing to say for all the wrong reasons.

“I’m not afraid of you right now because you’re an alpha.”

Joohyun frowns and turns to stare at the mirror, eyes hard as she studies her own reflection. Byulyi sees the loathing and self-hatred finally come to the surface with angry golden eyes. She’s almost cowed by the overwhelming flash of pheromones that fill the small restroom. It is in that haze that Joohyun reaches out and grabs Byulyi by the small of her back, pulling her closer.

“You didn’t take scent blockers today.”

“I’ve been busy all day.”

Joohyun’s tense shoulders droop and she drops her forehead to rest against Byulyi’s collar bone. Byulyi says nothing, slightly turning to stare at the sight of them in the mirror. She sees a disheveled doctor with slightly askew glasses and pinkish stains on the sleeves of her white coat embraced by a small woman with messy dark hair and a bruised face. 

This is what they've grown to become.

“I’m sorry,” Joohyun whispers, her breath warm against the skin just above the collar of Byulyi’s sweater.

“For what?”

“For leaving you. For loving you. For turning into _this_.”

“Hyun-ah-”

“But I can’t be anything else. It has to stay this way.”

“Run away with me.”

_“Run away with me_.”

The last conversation they’d shared the day before Joohyun had abruptly left without a trace.

“I wish it were that easy.”

_“I wish it were that easy._ ”

Byulyi smiles bitterly. Maybe they are doomed to be stuck in an endless cycle.

“Is that why you left? Because you were afraid?”

Byulyi thinks of the shared train tickets to visit Busan before they’d go to their respective colleges. Thinks of waiting at the station for hours alone until a kind conductor bought her a drink from the convenience store and told her to go home. 

“I knew that if I continued to be with you, I’d make you unhappy. I wanted us to end before our happy memories could become… tainted.”

“Tainted?”

Joohyun raises her head and Byulyi is so close to her that their noses are practically brushing. The hand on the small of her back tightly grips the excess fabric of her white coat.

“Do you know how easily that could have been me on the floor with an enforcer’s knee in my back? Proclaiming how my love for you isn’t an abomination?”

“You don’t know if that would have happened with us.”

“You wanted to run away with me on a romantic getaway to Busan during your heat cycle. Byulyi-ah, you don’t think we both know what would have happened? We’d have been mates and then our lives would have changed forever. We were nineteen!”

Byulyi’s eyes fill with tears as the ten year old scar rips open as fresh as the day she’d been sobbing alone at the train station.

“Why couldn’t you have just talked to me about it? Why did you have to take my choice away from me and just leave for school a week early? You never answered any of my calls and messages… you gave me no closure.”

Joohyun raises her free hand and brushes a thumb just above the swell of Byulyi’s cheekbone, catching the tears.

“I’m sorry. But we were always going to end up like this. We never had a future together, Byulyi-ah.”

“Maybe it was for the best. I don’t think you’re the same person I fell in love with anymore.”

Hurt flashes in Joohyun’s eyes but she nods, accepting the words with stoic grace.

“We’re both strangers now.”

“Mm.”

Byulyi’s goes cross-eyed as Joohyun presses a kiss against the corner of her mouth before taking a step back with an apologetic smile. She takes a scrap of paper from her pocket and places it carefully on the edge of the sink.

“See you later, Moon Byulyi.”

She says nothing in reply as she watches Joohyun turn away and exit the swinging restroom doors. For a long moment she contemplates tossing the note in the trash. But instead, she reaches forward and opens it with one hand.

_010-67XX-78XX_

Byulyi closes her eyes as she presses the paper to her nose and inhales. The barest of smiles curls her mouth as she can faintly make out the familiar smell of pine and fresh snow dappled with a sunset.

“See you later. Maybe.”

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written anything like this before but I think in the end I enjoyed it. I may even write a sequel. Wonder what would happen if Byulyi gives Joohyun a chance and dials that number?


End file.
